ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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