people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
