i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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