Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
