Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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