Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
