maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
