Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
