And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
