So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
