I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
