the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
