I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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