can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
