Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
When are your genitals available?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
