Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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