thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
