The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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