you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
time to smoke my breakfast
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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