so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
