He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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