I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
