i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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