Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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