I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
