Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
