Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
