I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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