so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
