only you would photoshop your dick
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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