with your own penis?
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
