Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
