I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
