I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
