i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
