Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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