I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
