Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize