i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
