I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is Oprah even human
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
