College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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