There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
