That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
