i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
