Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
