i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
