This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
