Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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