i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize