glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
