Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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