he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
