Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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