Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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