Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize