Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
