Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
