she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
