I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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