She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
farters have to be the big spoon...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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