would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
